Some people shy away from the idea of going to a therapist, especially one that wants to talk about sex, which is a particularly sensitive subject. However, I think sex therapy is a wonderful thing and it’s definitely needed in certain situations. Sex therapists are people who are specially trained to deal with sexual issues, so you don’t have to be embarrassed to bring anything up with them. They’ve definitely heard it all! How do you know if you need to see a sex therapist?Here are 8 ways to tell…
1. A persistent problem – If you have a persistent sexual problem that just won’t go away and is causing you personal stress or putting stress on your relationship,it might be time to contact a sex therapist. Only you know if the problem is out of your control and is causing enough trouble in your life, but don’t be afraid to see a therapist. Just like you would take your car to the mechanic if you needed to have a tune up, you need to see a therapist if you have a sexual issue.
2. Painful sex – Sex shouldn’t be painful (except in those situations that someone is seeking out pain during BDSM!). If you’re experiencing some kind of pain during sex it might be because you or your partner (or both) have some kind of health problem. Your first step should be to see your doctor, but if your doctor isn’t able to figure out the cause of the pain then it’s time to call a sex therapist who may be able to help you connect with other specialists. They can also help you to find the best positions, sex acts and techniques for pain that can’t resolved (like chronic pain or issues from other diseases or health problems).
3. Orgasm issues – One thing to keep in mind is that it’s not a problem to not have an orgasm during sexual activity. It’s only a problem if you feel it’s a problem. There are many women and men who don’t have orgasms and have a perfectly satisfying sex lives. However, if you don’t have orgasms and it causes you distress then you can see a sex therapist about it and they can help.
4. Concerns about addiction – Some people might be concerned that they are addicted to sex or pornography and a sex therapist can help you assess if your behavior might be problematic. If it is, he or she can also help you put a treatment plan into effect.
5. Feeling ashamed about your sex life or fantasies – A sex therapist can help you to come to terms with any shame or embarrassment you feel about the things you find sexually exciting. Sex should be fun, not shameful.
6. Problems in your sexual relationship with your partner – Are you arguing about sex with your partner?Are one or both of you unsatisfied with your sexual relationship? Although it can be hard and a little scary to open up to each other and a stranger about your sex life, going to a sex therapist can make a huge difference in the overall satisfaction and well being of your relationship.
7. Lack of desire – If you or your partner are struggling with a lack of desire and it’s causing you distress, a sex therapist can help. Again, for some people they don’t mind not having a strong libido and that’s okay, but if it is an issue that bothers you then you can seek help in this way. Remember that desire will ebb and flow in a relationship and that’s completely normal too.
8. Challenging views about sex – Sometimes people have difficulty with sex because of how they grew up, what they learned about sex when they were young or because of religious beliefs. A sex therapist can help you work through any conflicting feelings, guilt or any unpleasantness you have regarding sex.