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Bringing the fire back in sex life

May I remind you that these are only suggestions. You can mould them as per your convenience. The idea is to make you comfortable as a sensual and sexual couple. Please do not try to prove anything to yourself or to your partner. Thoughts like “What if she’s not satisfied?” and “Am I strong enough to make her cum?”, “I should not ejaculate before she discharges” are quite damaging. You should focus on your partner only with the sensation of touch, sexuality and pleasure.

1.    Please ensure adequate privacy and appropriate time. Occasional quickies are good for sex life lest it should not be a routine. Though in metros space is at a premium, you can’t expect to enjoy sex when your children are sleeping in the same room with you. So make sure you too are not occupied by anyone. A temporary partition can be helpful. Go to another room or choosing day time may help.

2.    Make sure you lock the room properly. Switch off your mobile phones and make sure no one knocks at the door. Keep half an hour to one hour for making love.

3.    You can begin by bathing or showering. It serves 2 purposes. It relaxes you, helps you cleanse the genitals and cause an increase in blood flow.

4.    Does it mean you have to follow whatever your partner demands? No. You can say no lest it is to be conveyed in a way it doesn’t hurt your spouse. The partner who is denied may feel rejected and avoid further contact if their needs are not met. You can suggest another sexual activity or another time for an exciting activity.

5.    The most important point for good sexual experience is good communication. When a partner intimates an activity with care, affection and the other response by expressing their feelings clearly, this increases intimacy.

6.    Make sure you are presentable, changing clothes, brushing teeth, changing bed sheets and using perfume or combing your hair. They increase your sexual attractiveness lest it should not be taken too seriously. Some people told me they avoid sex until she feels perfect and beautiful. There has to be some spontaneity. You can learn your partner’s preference so the next encounter could be better.

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