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Some tips for your first sex

First sex is when you lose virginity. It is thrilling to most but not as shown in Bollywood movies. Traditionally it refers to sex after marriage but in modern society, it may be before marriage as well. 

How is the experience- Generally there would be a pain of variable degree The vagina is an expandable structure which adjusts according to the size of the penis. You wouldn’t get orgasms but penetration is the most important. Pain is mostly bearable but if it is too much, don’t hesitate to request your husband to stop.

If again it is unbearable, you may be needing a lubricant. Bleeding will be just a little bit but if it doesn’t stop for more than 5-10 minutes, don’t hesitate to take help from your elder sister in law or mother in law. Rarely medical help is needed due to inadvertent injury to soft vaginal tissue. You can use an ice pack as a first aid 

2- Is it necessary to have sex on the first night- not really. The bride and groom are very tired due to customs and rituals. They may not have slept for many nights due to overexertion. I saw a couple just the other day where the boy had ED and the girl raised a storm. She even labelled him impotent! How could a potent boy not have an erection when a beauty like her was sleeping nude in the bed? I had to explain that the boy was extremely tired due to the burden of managing whole affairs. He was feeling sleepy. Loss of sleep can result in temporary loss of erection. Thank God! The boy recovered after a good sleep for 2 days. But let me advise you here! Don’t postpone the penetrative sex for too long. If you can’t enter vagina despite repeated attempts or one of you is repeatedly trying to postpone the penetration, you should be alert. Don’t let it be postponed by more than 2 weeks otherwise take the help of sexologist.

3- Should you disclose everything on the first night- Why wait for the first night? One should be honest with a life partner for sure but you should disclose everything you want before marriage. I think if you have not disclosed something unintentionally or intentionally, wait for an appropriate time to disclose. 

4- What if I can’t satisfy my partner- Surely heavens aren’t going to fall. Most probably the sex experience on the first night will not be the best. One may be sexually naive or tired or anxious due to a million reasons. But why worry? You have plenty of time to improve. Normally people need 1-2 weeks to start feeling satisfied. So take it easy. If your partner is not able to perform well during sex- PLEASE make sure you don’t say something nasty. 

5- Should you take some medicine for first sex- No, I am against taking anything for first sex. If you had been masturbating nicely, you don’t need any medicine. Many boys take OTC medicine to make sure they perform like a hero. Many unscrupulous people put in an advertisement in the newspaper “ special medicine for Suhag Raat “ Don’t fall in the trap, it can produce psychological dependence. If you have any doubts, consult a sexologist. You can have the option to consult online as well. 

6- How many times I should have sex to satisfy her- Very tricky question indeed. Remember you aren’t a sex machine so don’t expect your penis to respond whenever you order. Normally you are wired to have sex once and men need a recovery period of 30 minutes to a few hours for “second round “. So the quantity doesn’t matter, quality does. 

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